So let's discuss. There's three venues, thus three different experiences.

The section on the city of Miami side of Biscayne Bay, by the soon-to-be-ex-Herald building, lends itself to exploring a couple places that have sprung up on the strength of the incredible new Performing Arts Centre. In the old days I'd suggest schlepping down to tired Bayside for chow and maybe a quickie boat tour of the city from the marina there, but now I'd say walk around (in the day). The little Manhattan Cafe on NE 14th looks worth a try, and a few blocks north on 'the Boulevard' is the Daily News, a sandwich shop with a newspaper theme. That's about it. They're trying to resuscitate that whole corridor, but, like the Design District by 36th Street, has not yet achieved 'critical mass.'

Part Two takes place in Miami Beach, at the Convention Center (unpretentious spelling versus the tonier PAC) and the metal "tent" erected on its' parking lot. Although it has access to South Beach, especially Lincoln Road, the atmosphere doesn't grab me. (Actually no one grabs me anymore, but that's another story). I like...

The area along Collins by the remodeling Fountainbleu, on Indian Creek, is the most fun. Here are the big boats that can't make it south due to low bridges. There's more energy, you get onto cool boats while they're on the water--standing on the deck in a exhibition hall doesn't feel right--and there's a Beer Tent! And what goes together better than alcohol and moving watercraft?

Beachbum will be back soon with more the sort-of insider info you've come to rely on here at hotelsbycity...ciao

Speaking personally, Beachbum is new to hotelsbycity but a veteran chronicler of the South Beach scene, reported in his humorous fortnightly These Bitter Times. He's a he, a Taurus, of Irish-German descent, ruddy-faced and always braced for the worst, yet hoping for the best, and coming up somewhere in the 'middle.' His cover? A low-level drone in the Miami hospitality industry, but in reality a superhero by night...oh wait....that's my other identity...here I simply give you the latest happenings on Miami Beach as I see them...to contact, either through this blog-site or jefftydeman@atlanticbb.net

The Super Bowl was a huge success image-wise, despite a monsoon-like attack before, during the Anthem, first half, half-time, second half, and post-game awards. Kudos to show biz pros Billy Joel and Prince for not breaking character even in the face of a cold biting rain wind-driven and ceaseless. "Purple Rain" in the rain...sort of priceless....from what I overheard, Joe Tourist had a heckuva time. "I'm in shorts on South Beach with a beer and it's 84" went a typical cell call.

In the cold light of the economic day, however, not all boats were raised by the SB 41 high tide. Lincoln Road suffered as savvy locals fled in terror and others eschewed the road for the more promising prospects of Ocean Drive....ultimately it all evens out....Halloween, the Road rocks and the ocean-side places wither...not to belabor a point, but as quickly as last Thursday Beachbum was pointing his discerning readers either towards the festive atmosphere on the beach, or the wide-open spots on the west end of Lincoln...Hero? Biggest thing since Joan of Arc? Maybe. That's for others to say....

 NEXT BLOG=The Boat Show--I tell you what to do, where to go, what to say, how to think!

You've fought your way through traffic (that's meant literally) and found a place to park your rental. Or, better, rolled out of your hotel bed, and are ready for a busy Sunday. The beach is out. The next obvious thing would be the open-air street festival from 5th to 15th on Ocean Drive. But Beachbum, you say, I'm just not in the mood for raucous, be-jerseyed, roly-poly, beer-swilling Midwesterners going on and on about 11 millionaires trying to stop 11 other millionaire from running around with a ball.

GO WEST GENTLE HOTELSBYCITY READER!

The west side of our little barrier island has some cool places to eat. Starting at, say, 14 and Alton (the westernmost north-south corridor on Miami Beach) you could grab some italian at the delightfully tacky Bella Napoli. Right next to it is Lime, a great Mexican place. Across the street is Quarterdeck--good burgers, "American" food normally--except today is some $75 eat-and-drink affair that may already be sold out. I don't know if you can squeeze in the bar. Maybe. Just south of 16th street is a silver-clad, aluminum building that houses a Starbucks. The little eatery there keeps changing hands and yet they all seem to offer reasonable food at cheap prices. Next block is Taco Rico, more pleasant Mexican food. I know, I know--these aren't very glamorous or even interesting, but as explained earlier, the "name" places are probably booked. In the Regal Cinema IS a charming joint frequented by loyal SoBers--Piola--which has great sandwiches and is usually crowded from when it opens at 6pm with the movie crowd. Great people watching.

Finally we're off the un-lovely Alton and onto Lincoln Road, west end. Grab a coffee at Segafreda, or lunch at Balans. Quattro is new and expensive and beautiful and promising but still inconsistent. There'a new German Bier Garten that seems to be attracting a following. Finally, the little cafe that could, The Cafe at Books and Books. Terrific food, bookstore ambience, affordable prices, funky waitstaff, and plenty of local color. A real winner!

      The party is on, and only schlumpfs can't put aside their quibbles with daily life to relax and "get away," if only mentally. Like Christopher Isherwood, let me "be a camera" and swoop you around town for a few snapshots...

    To the south, media types and swells gather at the incredible Vizcaya for some black-tie event....a little way from there Coconut Grove is hopping, obviously around the center two shopping arcades....from there, still "inland," is Bayfront Park, where the youngsters are setting up for various hip hop bands all weekend long. The AAA hosts the Heat tonight, and Bongo's, the Estefan's Cuban-theme restaurant, as well as Bayside, will be fun all weekend long too....north north north we fly, like Peter Pan and the Lost Boys...

     There's the MASSIVE ESPN fiesta in the Design District on the west end of 195 (the Julia Tuttle), a street party that's invite-only, but you can bet crashers will be on the fringes.....up I-95 we go now, to NFL Interactive at Dolphin Stadium, and onward to the more sinful sites of Gulfstream Race Track, Hard Rock Casino, strip clubs like Pure Platinum and the Cheetah. There's downtown La-de-da, with sofas set up along SE2nd St for game-watching, and Las Olas, and the New River, which will be percolating with boat traffic.

      Take a deep breath, as we fly out east over the Atlantic, towards the Bahamas a scant 75 miles by air, as we make a dramatic swing back towards a long thin outcrop of rocks, mangroves, and sand dunes that we lovingly call Miami Beach. Picture the fantastic opening scene of The Birdcage, an onrushing aerial shot coming in to a low stretch of neon that sharply defines into the Ocean Drive strip of Art Deco palaces that serve as both room and board to our guests. There's the outdoor stages on the beach where Jay Z will play, there's Casa Casuarina where Versace got shot, rented out to a local sports radio station for the weekend. There's the mega-clubs at Cameo and Mansion and Nikki Beach. See those people walking down the closed-off Ocean Drive, cocktails in hand? See them swarming the clubs between 6th and 8th on Washington, see them eating and perambulating on Lincoln Road. The music is thumping, the money is changing hands, the cameras are rolling, and everyone is having a great time. And to join in, all you have to do is simply insert yourself. Any place you fit, grab a seat, order a burger, talk to the person next to you, and remember next Monday another work week will begin. But it ain't Monday yet, is it?

Although the crowds they attract are vastly different, both the Supe and the BS are hotel-fillers, restaurant-crowders, street-cloggers...to have the Hype Bowl come in then leave while the Yacht people are trying to set up is a challenge, to say the least. With that in mind let's

GET AROUND the week of Tues 30 through next Monday....the key thing is to not approach South Beach from the 79th Street Causeway...construction at 63rd and Collins/Indian Creek have created a traffic nightmare and caused the Beachbum to be late for work innumerable times (that's my story and I'm sticking to it). By all means if you're driving take 195 or 395: attack the soft underbelly of South Beach, and try to keep as far south as you can. If you can find a parking spot grab it and walk or bus or cab where you want to go....this advice changes from week to week so keep up to the minute with the Beachbum and hotelsbycity...sometimes it's to your advantage to advance from the North, but not this weekend.

Ocean Drive (deco drive) (the place where most of the stuff happens) will be closed to vehicular traffic from this Thursday through late Sunday night.

DINNER: The first day you get here try to go to the place you most want to eat. This Big Events burn through supplies and our Billion Dollar Sandbar gets so crowd the Sysco trucks can't even drop the chicken wings needed to sustain such a mass gathering. If you're a stud you'll be partying with Shaq at Mansion on Thursday, Snoop Dogg on Friday, and making the scene at the free Jay-Z song-and-dance to kick off the Most important Sporting Thingie Ever. If you're like me, you'll be looking for a small oasis of calm. The upper balcony of Wet Willies at 7th and Ocean sounds good...

In our last post we said their would be prime celebrity-watching at the Heat games...which is still true==but they are Thursday and Saturday nights, and not tonight, as was written. Don't worry: the staffer responsible was dismissed, his personal belongings were placed in a plain brown cardboard box, and a grim secuity guard marched him out the front door...

Much like Lovie Smith or Tony Dungy, you need to adapt a strategy. Offense or Defense? If you want the End Zone of Impressive Meals, Celebrity-Rubbing-Shoulders-With, and Memorable Clubbing, grab your wallet, and your buddies Green, Gold, and Platinum. Miami Beach is a fickle goddess, and when she's hot she's so SO hot, and this weekend promises to be (if not temperature-wise) Ground Zero for all things American. So you're gonna pay. That's Offense.

Defense? Maybe you're here for the game, maybe early for the Boat Show or you as fate, or business, had it. Maybe you don't have the interest or energy or money to "play the game." A good time still can--nay, MUST!--be had.

Where To Stay--This one's on you. OFFENSE:If you're here following a team, proximity to the team hotel is paramount. DEFENSE: Grab what you can get.

Where to Eat--OFFENSE: Go for the gold and use that vig you brag about to get in at, off the top of my head, to these well-regarded South Beach hotspots: The Forge, Smith & Wollensky, Joe's Stone Crab (natch), Prime 112 (you wish), Barton G, or Macalusos. Pacific Time, Nobu. DEFENSE: Fall back on that second line of restaurants, the Joe Allens, any of a dozen along Lincoln Road and a like number on Ocean Drive, all the way to Jerry's Famous Deli or whatever looks good. You never know where a really good meal can come from, and don't get your poor little heart too set on any one place.

Events...These are constantly evolving. OFFENSE Make the game. Or camp out at the Jay-Z show on 8th and Ocean and prepare to get overrun by kids. If you've got young'uns the NFL Interactive Experience is a winner. $15 at Dolphin Stadium starting again Thursday. DEFENSE: Do what I'd do and just soak up the ambience here there and everywhere, opting for the less-crowded place, parking that damned car and walking around. Listen to the Different Jerseys woof at each other.

Celebrities...Miami Beach in general and the Super Bowl specifically are celebrity magnets. OFFENSE--The athletes currently playing will be pretty much sticking to the team's itinerary (except for that one guy we all know is going to get arrested right before kickoff with drugs and a transexual!). Going to those team-sponsored events will give you exposure to 'your' team. Hints From 'Eloise--Try the Panthers hockey game Thursday or Saturday, or the Heat game Tuesday or Thursday. My bet is there will plenty of famous folks making the scene. DEFENSE: Just stay alert. That scruffy guy over there may be a Somebody, and that woman who looks familiar is for a reason. Don't expect them to look like themselves! WARNING: Celebrities are hot-house flowers, very fragile and skittish. Do NOT approach unless wlcomed. Maybe Billy Joel just wants ...a bottle of coke, a bottle of water. Maybe Paris Hilton doesn't want to have sex with you--but I doubt it :)  Just remember, them being rude isn't the thing that'll ruin you for them--it's their ordinariness!

Š

    Today let's concentrate on the Super Bowl; the teams should arrive over the weekend and generally stay in Broward, close to Dolphin Stadium, which is located on the Dade-Broward County Line twenty miles north of downtown Miami and add ten minutes if you're staying on "the Beach" (as you should be)...in the past it's been the Diplomat or Ambassador...the lobbies of the team hotels are open to everyone (more or less, depending on restrictions) and the teams will have several public functions...I don't know where they go when they're in the Fort Lauderdale but if they're on South Beach away from the team athletes will prefer Prime 112, the Steakhouse South of Fifth Street, and any of the big clubs, including but not limited to Opium, Cameo, B.E.D, Club Cristal, and various promoted shindigs...just keep a weather eye peeled and be open to the possibility of Football Heroes showing up anywhere, anytime to grab a latte or scarf a burger before they rush back to some function....if you've kids check out the NFL Interactive Camp outside Dolphin Stadium, formerly Joe Robbie, the man who kept the Dolphins here by using his money (GASP!) to build a stadium, instead of public funding...his reward? Bankruptcy! The Best Damn Sports Show will be taping at the Sagamore Hotel 1717 Collins Ave 4-6 PM Mon thru Fri all week long...anywhere near there should be pretty happening...more in a little bit...