Poor Front Pages of the SF Chronicle.
I missed the Bay to Breakers, but apparently a 53 year old man dropped dead shortly after passing the finish line. The cause of death was concluded to be a heart attack. Spectators report that the man stumbled across the finish line and fell over (literally dropping dead) shortly after. They said that it seemed as though he was having his heart attack before he had finished the race, but kept going until it was over. Why is there a picture of a group of runners dressed as Homer Simpson on the front page of today’s SF Chronicle?
Although I missed the Bay to Breakers this year, my roommates were able to help a man who had passed out on the street near the panhandle and who had begun convulsing and choking on his vomit. They said that when the paramedic eventually showed up, the man was slightly conscious meaning there was nothing for the paramedic to do, so he went on his way. My roommates helped the poor drunken man stumble to a Red Cross tent where they cleaned him up and gave him some fluids. Then, my roommates walked a block to the jello-shot stand and continued to party. Homer Simpson on the front page?
Saturday’s Chronicle wasn’t much better, featuring a picture of Barry Zito wiping the sweat from his brow. Barry Zito, the Giant’s ace pitcher, who had pitched for 7 years earlier in Oakland started Friday night's Battle of the Bay series with the worst pitching I’d ever seen in my life. It was sad, the man recently left the A’s to accept his dues with a full spread in April’s GQ magazine and $125 million contract with the SF Giants – only to show Oakland that they're not missing a thing but his charm. So the A’s cream the Giants, 15 to 3, and all the sports writers go home in the 5th after Zito’s finally taken out of the game.
But wait, the real drama unfolded at the bottom of the 8th, when Mark Ellis, with 2 strikes and 3 balls rips out a grand slam – which is exciting enough, as Ellis isn’t known for his slugging abilities – but the Giant’s pitcher, Steve Kline, decided to make a real mess and physically go after the umpire. Not just the, “Ra Ra Ra, you suck ump!” that you’re used to seeing, but a full blown physical attack. Giants star, and bloated steroid abuser, Barry Bonds had to run out onto the field and hold him back. Well, it started with him just holding him back, then it turned into pushing him off the field, and then having not just Bonds but the Oakland PD struggling to keep this guy off the field. Who does Kline think he is? Where does Kline think he is? He looked like an enraged three year old. It was hilarious. But I didn’t hear one word about it in Saturday’s paper. Just that Zito couldn’t take the Oakland heat. Who cares? Zito’s a great pitcher who deserves the fame and fortune the A's were too cheap to provide – he’s just not always on.
Barry Zito is though, a fabulous writer, guitar player, ballet dancer, a mega hottie, and most importantly not a Yankee. So get up and cheer for the boy, even when he's down, beause darn it, he's cool. Also, if you’ve finally made it onto the SF Chronicle’s sportswritting staff, and all you have to do is drink beer and take notes at 5 games a week – stay for the whole game and cover the best parts. Please, it's the least you can do.
Side note: Jason Giambi admitted to taking steroids to the SF Chronicle in 2004, one year before Canseco’s book describing the massive water retention under Jason’s skin from steroid abuse and heavy drinking. Why is the MLB investigating this guy now?
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