Today I was at the railway station and was happy to see that NS (Dutch Railways) have a special autumn offer. (not very special as they have had the same offer for the past few years).

NS HERFSTTOER

It is a one-day travel card for 2 persons at €35 valid on Saurday and Sunday from 22 September – 25 November, and €38 for two adults and 3 children aged 4 – 11.

€2.50 reduction when bought online www.ns.nl

€0.50 surcharge when bought at the counter, unless you are over 60. (NS thinks that older people can't handle the ticket machines)

The easiest way is to get this ticket from the vending machine in the station concourse.

The compass directions are: North = noord, South = zuid, East = oost, West = west.  Left and Right are: links and rechts respectively.  See?  Not that difficult.

If you’re at a tram station and you see a sign that says “Richting Centraal Station” that means “in the direction of Central Station.” So if you’re not going to Central Station, you should probably look both ways and cross to the other side of the tram tracks.

On the tram you will often hear “De eindpunt van deze trien is…” This means “The endpoint of this train is…” That’s a little difficult for the untrained ear, but the voice that announces that is generally well articulated.  You can always ask.

Dutch is really not that difficult.  If you’re here for a vacation, you can learn a few words to help you find your way.  You’re smart enough for that, right?

I was an art major in college and I saw a lot of art, and I watched a lot of art being made. I also lived in New York City for many years and visited lots of museums Consequently, I have an opinion on art. I really enjoy art. Mostly I enjoy more traditional, figurative art. Modern art? Not so much.

The following is an account of my experience at the Stedelijk.

As we walked into the museum, we were directed to an elevator, which took us to the floor on which the museum begins. On our way from the elevator to the entry hall, we saw several posters with names like Picasso, Nauman and other modern artists who would not be featured in the collection. Visitors are informed that these artists will be shown again when the museum reopens at its regular location in about 2009.

The first exhibit that we saw was something called Cruel Bonsai. It’s a collection of sculptures that are made of resin, wire and other stuff that look like somewhat like bonsai trees. It was fairly interesting, but the explanations on the walls were so full of blah-blah that it made my head hurt. There was another exhibit of the Best Designed Books of 2006. More interesting and very hands-on. You can actually pick the books up and look through them.

As we ventured into the main halls, we were treated to many, many video works that were just a lot of…bull. Here’s a synopsis of a few of them.

• A fuzzy video of a woman with what appeared to me to be exposed breasts. She was jumping around chanting, “I’m not the girl that misses much.” Her voice was synthesized a bit so that it wasn’t clear what she was saying, which was fine as she was only saying the one line. It was a statement on feminism. God bless the feminists with her as a spokesperson.

• Clips of an old (what appeared to be French) film projected onto a wall that had some abstract black lines (read: art) on it and a voice over of a woman speaking in French like she was chatting with someone or telling a story. This got its own little room and the room was carpeted!

• A circle of about seven monitors suspended from the ceiling with lots of old, naked people holding hands walking/dancing in a circle. I was heartened because in the museum, this was the only full frontal nudity that was featured. It’s strange in this country to not see naked people in art, dance, theater.

• A video called “Pursuit,” which was showed people running, both women and men. They were shown full body as well as with just parts of their bodies. Were they being pursued or doing the pursuing? Discuss.

There were also a few other pieces that gave me pause. There was a piece that had several barrels that were overflowing with green muck. Atop the barrels were boxes, and on top of the boxes were sketchbooks. Behind these, were videos of people flipping through the sketchbooks. This had to be cordoned off as some visitor-numbskulls had ventured in and stepped into the green muck, which was still wet, placed there by the artist-numbskull.

There was a video of some paper moving around the screen, opening up and closing. It was shot in freeze frame. It was pretty cool, but what irked me was the youngish guy (probably an art student), who sat straight-baked on the floor entranced with the projection on the screen. Intense, over-serious art students. (Sigh.) I spent too much time around them in both undergraduate and graduate school. I have no patience for them.

There were also lots of things to listen to (headphones provided) mostly waves and stuff that completed the piece as you gazed upon it. And there were rooms of installations that looked like someone had just left during the making of art and they would be back after their pee break.

There’s so much crap in modern art museums. I would like to say that I like art and that I can appreciate anything, but it’s so often full of stuff that just seems like a joke. Are these people genuine in their apparent need to express themselves? Does it really mean anything or is it just something thrown together in an effort to make people stare and nod? It reminded me of David Sedaris’ piece entitled “Twelve Moments in the Life of the Artist” where he tells a story about being a performance artist who does lots of speed and makes art that’s purpose is to shock and be weirder than other artists.

Maybe I should take a course on modern art to learn what all this means. Maybe I should just steer clear of the Stedelijk. However, in December there’s going to be an Andy Warhol exhibit. Now that’s some modern art I know I’ll enjoy.

Yesterday was one of the sunniest and warmest days of the summer in Amsterdam so far. Luckily, it just so happened to fall on a Saturday. Scott and I took full advantage and went to Europe's largest zoo, Artis Zoo. It is full of gardens and animals from every continent. I'll let the pictures do the rest of the talking...

Besides these smaller boats, the canals are home to the giant tour boats. There is a parade of them that go by our canal house daily. There are a number of different amenities that can be offered on each one including dinner and museum stops. When Theran and his girlfriend, Kari, were in town they took us out for a night on the wine and cheese canal boat. It was a fun ride that included both a bottle of red and white for our table along with an assortment of bread, small sausages (hell for the overall smell of the boat), and cheeses. I have to admit, the other people on the boat seemed rather stuffy, but loosened up as the tour continued. The ride was about two hours long and included a guide who explained the various sites.

On Thursday, Jess and I decided to go the way the tourists go and enjoy a day at the Heineken Experience. It is the old brewery that leads people through the history of the beer from day one to the present. We didn't know what to expect, but were pleasantly surprised to find it was interactive and rather fun. The self-guided tour explains the history of the Heineken family, the brewing process, and the advertising and marketing from past to present. The experience is also sprinkled with rides, music, and of course, free beer (sans the price of admission). It is a great way to spend an afternoon, but get there early to beat the rush.

After a whirlwind hiatus to the states, I was in relax mode upon getting back to Amsterdam. My friend, Jess, was in town from St. Paul visiting so Scott and I took her to our local coffeeshop, Dolphins.

Upon walking into Dolphins, you enter a world below the sea. The walls look like coral reef and there is a blue that takes over the rest of the place. They even have goldfish swimming in the light fixtures. We ordered our coffee/tea/hot chocolate and took a table to settle in and play Uno. Our favorite barista, Marouane, wasn't there, but the service is always good. The lower level is for larger groups seating about six to a booth. It is usually pretty full, but worth the wait. The murals on the wall are well done and the atmosphere is usually friendly. If you are lucky enough to catch Marouane while he is working you are in for a treat. Amsterdam is not known for excellent service, but Marouane proves that not all service is lost in the city.

After a few games of Uno (I won) we took off and slowly headed for home.

 Restaurant Week will take place the last week of August.  Make your reservations through www.restaurantweek.nl

 I myself have just booked dinners for a Wednesday and a Friday.   Hmmm... can we have a GYM week the following week!???

You're welcome! I know you love me!

Today Theran and I took a day trip to Den Haag (The Hague). It only took about an hour to get there by train, which is the perfect place to read the paper as Theran demonstrates.

When we were there we took in a couple of museums including Mauritshuis which holds Dutch painter Johannes Vermeer's Girl with a Pearl Earring and a few Rembrandts. We also went to Museum De Gevangenpoort/Prison Gate Museum. It took us through a famous prison of the area and would have been a wonderful tour if you understand Dutch; they failed to tell us it wasn't an English speaking tour. We walked around the city for a while and found it mostly resembles Kavelstraat (a popular shopping street in Amsterdam). It didn't seem like there was a lot of the old town left, but overall is a good place to explore more of the Netherlands.

Schreierstoren was part of the medieval wall in Amsterdam that dates back into the late 1400's. Located close to central station and the water, story has it that women used this place to weep and wave to their men as they went off to sea. Today it is a small café and bar with a nautical book store on the second floor. We stopped in for a quick cup of coffee so we could look around inside. There were regulars having a beer- one who started rambling/slurring immediately about how much he likes the place. 

The music alone made it worth the stop. It was an eclectic bunch of songs in English including a remake of Gangsta's Paradise, mixed in with some oldies, sprinkled with some 80's love songs. Not exactly the type you would think to find in that décor, but interesting to say the least.