Do you believe in signs? I stumbled across a listing of the destinations Danes will be flocking to this winter on vacation, according to local travel agencies. Of course, many Danes will still be travelling wilburys despite the recession.

First choice for these adventurers, are the Canary Islands, 2nd is Egypt and 3rd is Thailand. The Canary Islands are a short distance away, provide balmy weather and accommodations, so as per usual this always popular choice is a given. Egypt is an exotic, historical and warm country at a reasonable price, so Danes are returning there with a vengeance. Scandinavians in general, love Thailand, which is also exotic, with sunny skies and reasonable prices, even though flying time is a little longer.

After reading this, it got me to thinking about Thailand and the delicious food. It was six in the evening, so my stomach was growling. I was at my brother's house and the refrigerator contained the usual stale bread and month old pizza, so we decided to order takeout Thai food. My bro only had his credit card and all I had in cash was 30 dollars. Unfortunately, the little takeout restaurant down the street we ordered from didn't take credit cards.

So, I coughed up my 30 buckaroos. The delivery guy came to the door with the goods and my brother said, "Keep the change," and slammed the door rather hastily, I thought. I soon put two and two together, as the bill came to 29.95. That left the delivery guy with a whopping 5 cents; big tipper my brother is. We all know what that means next time? - the old hack and spit sauce in the meal. I've watched Kitchen Nightmares one too many times, so needless to say I won't be ordering from there again.

So, at the end of it all I read my fortune cookie and it said, "You are going to travel far and wide." I thought that was cool, so cool that I've even stashed this little premonition in my wallet for future reference. I then settled in for a movie and started flicking channels. I told myself whatever channel I land on, that will be the compass for this next stage of my life. Now, I realize this blind foolishness is in the same bane as tossing a coin or wishing upon a star, but a girl has to dream...

So, guess what movie I ended up at? It was "Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason." In the film, bachelorette and journalist Bridget goes on assignment to Thailand! Do you see a common thread here? Specifically, some of the landscape scenes in this film warmed my heart, as they were filmed in Phuket, Thailand; I've been fortunate enough to vacation there a few times.

Unfortunately, on this trip Bridget almost hooks up with womanizing, cad Daniel Cleaver, yet again, and in the process nearly loses her good guy Mark Darcy. Spoiler Alert: Don't worry she eventually comes to her senses - once bitten twice shy. In another unfortunate turn of events, Bridget gets caught at the airport with a stash of cocaine, which inadvertently was planted in her suitcase. I hope that isn't a sign for moi because needless to say, that's a very bad sign.

In fact, I've never even tried drugs, except for the legal kind, that being coffee, which according to studies is as addictive as heroin. No, that's a blatant lie. My cousin and I wanted to try marijuana way back when, and she told me where she 'thought' her brother kept his stash. Of course, she was as green as grass, as was I in the dope department, but we were convinced it was in the flower vase. Yeah, that's the ticket. To make a long story short we ended up smoking dried flower stems. My cousin said, "Wow, can you feel the buzz?" "No, I really can't." I guess the imaginary pot in the flower pot wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

So that said, if you are not heading to Thailand anytime soon but are in Copenhagen and would like to experience Thai food at its best why not try highly recommended, authentic Thai cuisine at:

Eastern Corner
Sølvgade 85 A
1307 Copenhagen

Open:
Sunday to Thursday 17.00-23.00/Friday to Saturday 17.00-24.00

Tel: 33 11 58 35
Fax: 33 11 98 10

Price: Meals start at 68 Dkr

P.S. This restaurant takes credit card.

They told me that there was once a group, who were executing their lines flawlessly in rehearsals weeks prior to opening curtain, but when push came to shove everything fell to pieces, including people forgetting loads of lines. I guess they were too wiped out by the time the show started, or else they'd just put too much pressure on themselves to get it right; Perhaps there was another rather evil, external force at work. Whatever the reason was, I'm taking it all as a positive sign. That being if I/we screw it all up now, maybe we'll do fine during the actual performance. United we stand, divided we fall!

So, last night to get my already overwhelmed mind off of the inevitable, I went channel surfing and tumbled over Twilight, a story about a young lady, who falls in love with a handsome, romantic vampire. Besides that, she also drives a hot lookin' red truck that's even cooler than my truckster. I'm not afraid to admit, I've seen this film a dozen times, but it was a bit too intense for what I had in mind for the evening, and I'd experienced enough "intensity" for one day.

We'd read lines for 3 hours straight, and my throat was sore. Of course, I forgot some lines and mixed some others up altogether. I actually think I recited someone else's lines or inserted one from a Winnie-the-Pooh book I'd read once in public school. "Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you, you will suddenly know everything there is to be known." Wait just a minute! That's a very inspirational - or not - quote.  I'd probably fall into the river, but whatever the case it's not a line from our play.

Anyhow, after flicking from channel to channel, I'd thought I'd hit the jackpot because I ran across what looked like a comedy called Vacancy starring usually funny guy Luke Wilson. This freak show about a couple, who spend a horrific night at a motel run by a certified nut bar and his cronies, turned out to be anything but a comedy. Also headlining in this horror show was English rose Kate Beckinsale. I'm usually not terribly keen on her, not that I don't think she's a great actress, and certainly lovely, but I just wasn't wild about any of the movies that I'd seen her in.

This movie however, was really her niche; Boy, can that woman play scared! The dude who played the psychopath motel manager Mason, aka Mr. Frank Whaley was also very convincing. Let's not forget Luke Wilson, who also did a bang up job, as the brave husband trying to do right by his disappointed wife. Doesn't he usually play the jokester?

Anyhow, he wasn't having much fun in this film. Speaking from experience, last time I looked it wasn't much of a joke being chased by crazies. So, I'd recommend this thriller but be forewarned, you'll think twice about stopping at a rat trap motel in the middle of nowhere from now on out.    

So, if you're in the mood to be scared out of your seats and you're in Copenhagen, why not take in Gyseren aka, "Paranormal Activity," which has apparently take the U.S.A. by storm. Personally, I haven't seen it but at a budget of only 15,000 dollars, this little scary number has become a box office smash.  

The creative genius behind the film is Oren Peli, and the story takes place in partners Micah and Katie's house, or more specifically in their bedroom. Mysterious events occur and the pair decides to set a camera up to document the activities. That decision escalates the creepy chaos and fear factor, which results in leaving the movie goer afraid to ever hit the sack again...  

(Gyseren) Paranormal Activity
Grand Teatret
Mikkel Bryggers Gade 8
1460 Copenhagen

November 17th - 21:30 to 23:00 p.m.

Cost: 55 to 75 Dkr

The long and the "short" of this film is that it revolves around a boy (played by a 40 year old Martin Short), whose sole objective in life is to visit the disneyesque amusement park aptly named "Dinosaur World." To achieve his take no prisoner's goal, he wreaks havoc on just about everyone in his path, but especially with his poor Uncle Martin.

Maybe I enjoy this film so much because I've worked with children and like Clifford, they are always brutally honest, even when you'd rather they not be. Case in point, one of the kids I'd worked with once abruptly announced, "Jennifer, you have a neck like a giraffe." Geez thanks; I didn't realize I had a freakish, long neck.

Albeit, Clifford is a bit more devious, manipulative and his jokes and blatantly honest outbursts, are more sadistic than any child I've ever encountered. Perhaps, I enjoy it so much because I'm secretly gathering ideas for "harmless jokes" to play on people who've duped me. Needless to say, the theories behind the Clifford obsession are open to a good psychoanalyst. All the evil pranks and vicious tricks really begin when Clifford thinks Uncle Martin is lying to him. At that point, Clifford creepily executes the line, "You wouldn't lie to me Uncle Martin because if you did I'd be so angry.. I don't know what I'd do." Okay, now I'm even scaring myself.

Speaking of which, I'm not going to lie to you; Clifford was panned by the critics. Almost every person I've advised to watch it hasn't really gotten it until the 2^nd or 3^rd go round. They've given me baffling feedback like, "That was the stupidest movie I've ever seen." "Weird." "I can't believe you recommended that movie; I invited my entire family over to watch it and they left dazed and confused."

So, for fun joke ideas to play on your "friends" and for the "professional critic's" review, watch Siskel and Eibert's off the mark assessment of my beloved Clifford. "Clifford is like a movie from Mars. This is the kind of a movie where you sit there simply stupefied." Well, that's why it's such a hoot guys. Give it another go...  

Lest we forget the dingbat drivers, who race around like they are on the Indi-500, despite what mother nature brings. This poky driver is not going one iota over the speed limit for love nor money, so for goodness sakes just pass me buddy!

I guess I'm getting a little stressed out. Perhaps, it's because there's a rumour flying around town that folks are stealing 1993 Ford Rangers. As a proud mama, that's my baby of choice at the moment, but I can't imagine why anyone would want to steal it? I'm not worried about it, as it probably wouldn't start for a prospective, smooth criminal. Didn't anyone tell them that crime doesn't pay?

Speaking of which, I had to drive the old truckster, balding tires and all in to a rehearsal for the play. I thought I knew my lines but apparently not, as I ventured half-hazardly into blank out land, and was left spinning my wheels. How does that saying go, "You think you know but you really don't." Well, I'm not ashamed to say at this critical juncture, that "I don't."

Anyhow, no worries because as I stated to another, usually encouraging cast member, "We still have 3 weeks until show time," to which he answered frightfully, "Only 3 weeks?" Yeah, at that point full fledged panic-mode set in, and I muttered somewhat jokingly, "Forget it, I'm so outta here!" No, just kidding, I'll get some stress therapy and stick it out, of course. I'm not opposed to making an absolute fool of myself. 

Mostly it's enjoyable, as it is a historical play set back in the early 1900's. One aspect about the fashion that I enjoy catapulting forward from back then, are the stylish hats. The long skirts and tightly buttoned up blouses and jackets are a bit cumbersome. Unfortunately, I am required to remove my wrist watch because there were no such things back then.

That brings me back to Christmas. Every other year or so, I wish for a new wrist watch, and not the dollar store type. It's always nice to have a quality, reliable watch, where there are no worries about the silver wearing off, leaving embarrassing stains on your arms. If that sort of quality costs, then so be it...

The legendary, award winning Danish design firm 'Jacob Jensen' has just introduced a new watch series, after a 15 year hiatus. It's worth the wait, as this uniquely designed watch is made from exclusive materials created for men and women in 3 different colour combinations. 
   
This world-renowned firm is no slouch, and since 1958 has created some iconic products. The watch line has been elegantly named 'Sapphire' and should be available in stores soon.

The exclusive watch is brand-spanking new, so for more information on where to purchase it and price point:

Visit http://www.jacobjensendesign.com or telephone 45 2857 6186
 

Up until two years ago I'd never even heard of pancreatic cancer. Now, I've lost 4 people I've known well to it, in that short time period. My Dad's best friend and neighbour for 70 odd years was diagnosed with it, and subsequently passed on 3 months later. Then there was my father in law in Denmark, who luckily enough caught it in time to get successful treatment, but otherwise the outlook would have been dire; his neighbour was not so lucky. Not long after that, my former employer of 9 years, back in Canada was diagnosed, and all too quickly lost the fight at the ripe young age of 54. Recently, my father succumbed to the deadly disease. The news that beloved actor, dancer, and artist extraordinaire, Patrick Swayze had pancreatic cancer brought international attention to the dreaded disease, but there is still a "long way to Tipperary."

Pancreatic cancer is the fourth leading cause of cancer deaths in the U.S. of A, with a five year survival rate of only 5%. It's imperative that pancreatic cancer is caught in its earliest stages, as once it spreads, the prognosis and treatment becomes pretty discouraging. However, pancreatic cancer is difficult to detect in its early days because the symptoms mimic many other, less serious illnesses. Tiredness, weight loss, heartburn, dull aching in the back are just some of the signs. Heck, I experience these common symptoms on a daily basis!

For events, campaigns or ways to just get involved in Copenhagen or around the world contact your local cancer society. You can start by wearing something purple like a pancreatic cancer awareness wristband or "tie a purple ribbon around the old oak trees," on your yard or in the streets. I'm going to wear so much purple this month you'll mistake me for the singer-songwriter Prince, circa 1984. 

http://www.pancan.org/

http://www.tofightcancer.com/

http://www.cancer.dk/

http://www.pancreaticcancercanada.ca

Throughout her life, this classy lady carried herself with honour and dignity. That said, she will be buried at a graveyard reflecting these qualities. As far as resting places go, this is a beautiful, remote graveyard, hidden smack dab in the middle of nature, amongst the trees. Her final resting place is sure pretty this time of the year with the wonderful autumn colours, like the lovely crimson reds, oranges and yellows. 

Unfortunately, all this graveyard talk has reminded me of a story out of the States that was making the rounds a few months ago, where hundreds of bodies were dug up in a grave reselling scheme. Apparently, the con-artists thought they would turn a fast buck, in the most despicable way you could imagine. After the shysters dug up the grave-sites, they then resold the vacant ones for their own financial gain. After the fact, family members came around looking for the remains of their loved ones only to be told, "I don't know where your Uncle John Doe is." This story is pretty stomach churning wouldn't you agree?

I had a similar experience, although it was much more innocent. Not so long ago, my family and I had to take my dearly departed Dad's just completed tombstone to his grave-site. It is a pretty secluded graveyard deep in the woods much like the one I described earlier, and not far from the water. We hadn't visited the grave-site in a few months, and the site was not marked well, and had since overgrown with grass. We "thought'" we remembered where my father was buried.

Now, I don't know how appropriate this story is in retrospect, but I'm only telling it because my Dad would have laughed hysterically at it, if it had happened to anyone else. Anyhow, to make an already embarrassingly long story short, we placed my father's tombstone in the wrong spot!

24 hours later, when it was nearly dark, we all snuck back to the scene of the crime, when the cemetery manager informed us about the error of our ways. With our shovels, wheelbarrow and picks in tow, we dug the tombstone up again. Then wouldn't you know it, someone drove in while we were in the midst of this chaos. I prayed that it wasn't the people, who actually were the rightful owners of the erroneous site. It wasn't, thank goodness and we fixed things up so that no one would be the wiser.

Now, if you're in Copenhagen and looking for some "innocent" Halloween activities that don't include grave robbing, why not check out Halloween at Krogerup Avlsgård. The ecological firm Aarstiderne invites one and all to a scary evening in the dark, empty fields, which are usually used to grow ecological goods such as corn and other green veggies.

Jack-O-Lanterns, skeletons, ghosts and goblins will all be guests at this get together. You may cut out pumpkins and make amulets that will protect against the wicked spirits. Baked cake, coffee, soup and grilled sausages will be available for purchase.

Where: Krogerup Avlsgaard,
           Krogerup vej 3, 3050 Humlebæk

When: Saturday the 31st of October from 10:00 a.m. to 19:30 p.m. 

Cost: Free!

P.S. Humlebæk is just a half hour train ride north of Copenhagen. After that, it's just a 10 minute walk to the woods from Humlebæk Station. Just head north young man! Women and children are welcome too, of course. 

I just said that because I'm watching the song "Float On," by the Floaters on youtube. Let's watch Charlie - at (1:06)- who wants a girl who's quiet and carries herself like Miss Universe. Charles doesn't require much so, I guess that leaves me out. Belt it out Charles! "Take my hand, come with me baby to love-land. Let me show you how sweet it can be, sharing lovin' with me. I want you to.... float on." Oh dear, I can't hit those high notes, without the neighbors feeling some spine tingling, teeth clenching pain - kind of like running one's fingernails down a chalkboard.

Hold on, I have to master this dance move. Are you still with me? Let's see, snap our fingers, part the red sea with our hands, and do a perfect 360 degree spin, like we're floating on the clouds. Phew, feeling a little dizzy, needs a bit more practice, but overall that felt great.

Which reminds me, I still haven't scrounged up any tickets for the upcoming Temptations concert. Tickets anyone? "I must see them!" Hey, that's one of my lines from the play at the theatrrrrree. Do you like how I say theatre, so British, including the face like I just swallowed a lemon? Well, you can't see it, but that's how folks express themselves in the theatre world. No, I don't know what I'm talking about. I haven't really seen anyone do that, besides myself. 

Hmmm..How to get into see the Temptations? I guess I'll have to dress up in one of the fancy, dancy, pastel blue magician's outfits, complete with the bow-ties. I'll just take my cue from the Floaters in this 1970's music video, then the Temptations will think I'm one of their Motown own. If that doesn't work "I ain't too proud to beg."

By the way, I bought a CD called "Greetings from Philly," at of all places, a liquidation store. Even though, it only put me out a few dollars, I don't leave home with it. It includes hits from such diverse soul artists as the O'Jays, The Spinners, The Stylistics and Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes. 

Now, if you would like to see some Motown live, you can get your own decadent slice, in the form of a tribute to Motown band, known as "The Magic of Motown." Hits from the Four Tops, the Supremes, the Temptations, Marvin Gaye and many more are included on their set list. Some songs on-board will be: Dancin' in the Street, Get Ready, Reach out, Stop in the Name of Love, My girl, Baby Love and many more. Direct from the US of A, comes this award winning show that has taken Europe by storm. The band has a 5-part male harmony section, 3 piece female vocal harmonies plus an 8 man Motown band.

The concert is being held just outside of Copenhagen in Greve, on the 28th of November 2009, starting at 20:00 p.m.

The Magic of Motown
Portalen
Portalen 1, Greve, Denmark, 2670

Ticket price is 295 Dkr and can be ordered from www.billetnet.dk.

P.S. Greve is about a half hour train ride from Copenhagen Central Station.

I just happened to catch the comedy "Yes Man," from 2008 starring funny-man Jim Carrey. Did you know Jim Carrey visited a friend in Copenhagen once, and Jim was spotted riding a bicycle around the streets of Copenhagen? There, now this blog is relevant, albeit not very informative.

Just in case you've missed this film, Jim's character Carl goes from a dude saying "no" to everything to an affable fellow who says "yes" to absolutely anything, including the unreasonable, mundane and ridiculous. I can so relate to this clip , especially the "Bonjour" with the French accent (this works great on telemarketers), and the "Darnit to heck" line (this conveys sincere, heartfelt disappointment).

Anyhow, once Carl starts opening himself to possibilities and starts saying "yes," good things start to happen for him. I thought this film was hilarious probably because I could see myself in most of it, especially at the beginning, where Carl is the "No way José" guy. I guess I have been behaving much like him because - how do I put this gently - up until recently I have been attracting every jerk, sociopath and idiot from here to Timbuktu. Yeah, just call me a creep magnet. So, since this string of dangerous encounters, I've been left with a once bitten, twice shy attitude, thus the overuse of the word "no."

I was speaking to my friend about this subject and he had been going through the very same thing, but as of late he had decided to make a concerted effort to weed out the manipulative snake charmers, and instead inject some genuinely good people into his life. He said, "Why is it that we are attracting idiots at every corner?" It makes you wanna say hmmmmmmm. I said to him, "These toxic relationships beg the question: What it is about ourselves that is attracting these bad news bears?" The possible answer to that is so scary that I don't even want to know, especially if the theory of "like attracts like" rings true!

Well, no matter what the reason is I've decided to start putting a tamer version of the "Yes" concept into practice. We'll see how it goes. That reminds me I've got to get back to studying my lines for my major-middle-minor role at the theatreeeeeee, that I happened to get promoted to because I said "yes." See it does work. Perhaps Johnny, Meryl or Viggo will be ringing me up next. Speaking of which, happy belated birthday to half Dane Viggo. Remember 51 is the new 21!

The secret among other things is a good economy, subsidized health care, free post-secondary education with pay, a reasonable work to free time ratio, 5-6 paid weeks vacation per year, a livable minimum wage at over 100 Dkr per hour (average is around $31 U.S. before taxes), a years paid maternity leave and access to reasonably priced and efficient public transportation.

Now granted, Danes don't run around with a crazy looking happy grin on their faces or wearing "Don't worry, be happy t-shirts." It's not like that at all, but they are content and I think that their sense of contentment stems from a feeling that they have control over their lives. They feel secure and know that for the most part the government is treating the masses fairly, while at the same time functioning efficiently with minimum corruption.

Everyone goes through good times and bad times. In Denmark, the society is structured in such a way so that when the tough times strike they aren't so painful. If a person is laid off there is no way they'll end up on the streets living in a box, unless they are into the cardboard box lifestyle. There is plenty of help available until work comes along.

The society is set up so that corporations don't rule the roost and employees have a good work place environment, with reasonable hours and a wage that they can actually live on. In other words, corporations won't be making record breaking profits while the employees barely can get by.

On the other hand, when the good times roll in again along with the money, that doesn't mean that one doesn't reap the benefits. It just doesn't necessarily mean that one will end up with 10 cars in the driveway and 5 mansions on the hill. In other words, the society is fair and studies have shown that societies that are equal- where there is not a huge discrepancy between the haves and have nots- thrive and just make people, well...happy!  

Another thing is, if a person finds themself in a job they don't enjoy, they aren't trapped. The option to go back to school is available without being a huge financial burden on the incumbent or his/her family. One wouldn't be too financially drained by making that choice. In other words, if little or big Johnny wants to be a Doctor but the family has limited financial means, it doesn't mean that he can't do it. The Danish society will pay for him to go to medical school for free. This only makes sense because we all need Doctors and why not train our own first before we look elsewhere. I'm sure a lot of talent is thrown by the wayside, simply because people can't afford to pursue their dreams. 

Some would argue that the taxes are too high in Denmark and that perhaps Danes are so happy because they just don't want much out of life. I don't agree with that. The taxes are high yes, but they are highest for the ones who can afford to pay it. I just think that for the most part, many Danes choose to prioritize their life differently. They live to live by enjoying travel, hobbies and spending time with their family, rather than gaging their successes by their material wealth.

Denmark and Danes are not perfect but they realize one important fact, and that is what's good for the goose is good for the gander, or in other words if we allow some people to sink in this society, then we will all eventually sink...

I've vowed to shorten them up, and besides that I'm actively involved in the theatre again, which means I shouldn't have a lot of spare time for long-winded writings. Like my friend said, "Congratulations with your theatre role, you've just sold your soul to the devil." No matter, I'm sure all the toil and torture that accompanies it, will be worth it in the end.

Actually, the inspiration for this theatre involvement came because I had read where my hero and future husband, actor extraordinaire Viggo Mortensen, has been working on a play in Spain. I thought gosh darnit, whatever Viggo does, I'll follow - monkey see, monkey do. Although I've never met Viggo, I feel we have so much in common. We both like to write and take photographs; we both speak Danish and have lived in Denmark. We've both been cut out of movies, albeit I've been deleted much more than him. He's had major roles in major films, I haven't. Unless, you count the blockbuster with the don't blink or you'll miss me faceless lady lurking in the shadows. Yes, it's me honestly. This scene was filmed over five freezing days and that's the result. Still, it's not as bad as the actor who lived on 2 hours sleep for weeks, only to be cut out of it completely. He didn't even end up as a shadowy figure!

By the way, I heard a rumour that Viggo will be visiting Denmark in October sometime. I'm not saying for certain because some of the rumours I hear don't hit the mark. If this particular tidbit doesn't come to fruition, I won't take offence to being called a sleazy tabloid reporter, although I'm not really. 

So, if you see a casually dressed version of someone you think might be a handsome star like him, wandering the streets of Copenhagen, then it probably is him. At least, that's what he looked like last year, at this time, when he was in town doing his photo exhibit. Hint, hint he likes to visit galleries.

I remember last year I took a 45 minute trip to his photo exhibit and book signing session. The lineups were so long for the latter that I just said forget it, and hightailed it on home. Besides that I didn't have any books or photos with me, nor did I take time to purchase anything. That didn't stop me from kicking back the glasses of free wine they offered waiting guests, no Sirree. Did you know that some people flew in from Japan and Australia just to get a glimpse of Mr. Mortensen? Now, that's fanatical with a capital "F."

Now, back to the theatre and wining and dining portion of the program. If you are in Copenhagen this week you might want to kill two birds with one stone, by sampling a unique theatre experience known as, "Madeleines Madteater: På barnsben. "Madeleines Madteater" a.k.a Madeleine's Meal Theatre, combines theatre and gastronomy. The performance takes in memories stemming from childhood, from mother's milk and grandma's face cream to the first school packed lunch. The play will include 8 scenes and 8 servings. (I'm assuming no mother's milk will be served because frankly, that's rather disgusting) 

When: The 12th of October to the 17th of October(Saturday) 19:00-22:30 p.m. 

Cost: Hurry, because the price goes up the longer you wait. It started at 495 Dkr on Monday and Saturday it will escalate to 995 Dkr. However, the proceeds from this performance will go to the Red Cross.

Madeleines Madteater
Drechselsgade 10
2300 Copenhagen South

Purchase tickets at http://www.billetnet.dk

P.S. Oops I did it again. This is way tooooo long...